Why I Became A Sexpert...

I talk a lot about the first time I had sex in interviews and articles because it was a turning point for me and my knowledge of sex. I didn’t have the best sex education in school and I had to learn about my pleasure much like the rest of us: on my own, the hard way.

Photo credit: DCist.com / Amanda Andrade-Rhoades

When I say I didn’t have the best sex ed in school, I mean it wasn’t really comprehensive. My gym teacher/dance team coach, bless her heart, was a wonderful woman and she taught us all about the risks: STDs/STIs and pregnancy, and preventative measures like condoms and birth control.

But something was missing.

I learned about consent, reproduction and how to know when I’m ready from my parents (and I realize I was lucky in that way), but what was fundamentally missing from all this education, was the topic of PLEASURE. Although all the reasons NOT to have sex were loudly enforced (and so were all the reasons not to talk about it), that didn’t quell the teenage lust inside of me at all. And given my experiences as a sex educator over the past 5 years, I assume the same is true for many people.

In fact, many studies have concluded that people are reluctant to address concerns around sexual pleasure and reproductive health for fear of shame and embarrassment. A recent study discovered:

50 % of millennial women are having bad sex.

And research implicates a widespread lack of knowledge as the underlying cause for these negative experiences. This comes as no surprise considering the fact that fewer than half of all high schools in the U.S. teach all 16 topics recommended by the CDC as essential components of sex education.

This fundamental lack of education coupled with the negative stigmas that exist around talking about sex, leads to adults who are grossly uneducated, sexually unfulfilled, and ashamed about their sexual health and pleasure.

That’s why I got into teaching workshops focused on pleasure-positive sex education. My vision for Sexpert Consultants is to educate adults about how to access and prioritize their pleasure in a fun way that is free of shame and full of facts— and to help aspiring sexuality professionals chart their path to success.

When sex education is factual, pleasure-positive and geared toward consenting adults, people are empowered by this knowledge and make better, more informed decisions regarding their sexual and reproductive health.

I’m just trying to do my part to change the world….one orgasm at a time.